So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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