Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
