I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
