I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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