i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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