Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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