So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
