I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
