I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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