is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Maybe he injected his testicle?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
