Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
