dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
