it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
