Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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