I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The adults are the big ones right?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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