Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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