Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
