Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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