Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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