sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
