Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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