I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
