i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
