good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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