Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
