i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize