I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
