I cockslap morals
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you win again, gameday.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
