i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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