so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
