turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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