This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
