It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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