If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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