i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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