He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
