Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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