she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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