It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
