they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
