Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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