hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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