If i come over, it means nothing
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
