So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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