I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I cut my penus on the lid.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
