mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
