do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
