I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
