How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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