we're chasing vodka with high fives
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
