it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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