So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
